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The Ultimate Guide to Kink (Book Review)I recently took the time to read The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge. The book is a compilation of work from leading sex educators in North America. It is edited by Tristan Taormino, an American author known for her activism in the sex-positive feminism movement. While I was initially skeptical about ‘sex guides’ or ‘expert advice,’ I found some of the writing to be enlightening and thought-provoking. I was able to borrow an electronic (e-book) version through my local public library — who would have thought! A free online version is available at archive [dot] org. (See comments section below for full link).In total, there are 20 individually-authored chapters. The first half focuses on the nuts and bolts of kink, with how-to’s on a range of topics including spanking and flogging, fisting, and bondage. There are some useful tips and techniques, and while certainly fund to read, I frankly didn’t get much more out of this than simply watching porn with an eye to learn. The tekirdağ escort written word is simply less effective than visuals.The second section, ‘Fantasies and Philosophies,’ was much more cerebral. The authors discuss topics including erotic role playing, sadism, and mindfucking. However the chapter that I appreciated most was titled ‘Fortefemme: The Art and Philosophy of Feminine Dominance,’ by sex educator Midori. I believe her writing is relevant to everyone — both dominants and submissives.I will leave you with an excerpt from Midori: Seduce—Don’t Force The ultimate power is that of persuasion. To get the submissive or bottom to want to do for you what you command of them—that’s dominance. Any fool with a scary weapon can force another to do things against his or her will. That’s the power of the brutish, the power of fearful people and those lacking in self-confidence. The art of the domme is in using her persuasive powers to bring out a desire previously unaroused in the submissive. As one of my favorite teachers and escort tekirdağ authors, Joseph Bean, loves to say: “The number one job of the dominant is to continually seduce consent from the bottom.” Humility Begets Respect The deep intimacy and connection that genuine Dominance/ submission creates verges on magic. There is a moment during the most amazing scenes when the rest of the world melts away, leaving a universe of two, the domme and the sub. In a universe of two, the domme is divine, for that brief moment and in that time-warped space. To accept this, she must be humble. She must know that she is but a mortal woman at all other times. Such humility has the amazing effect of creating a calm aura around the domme, giving her an air of grace and elegance that is deeply alluring. Her sincere humility and grace earns the domme quiet respect from those around her, and most certainly the respect of her submissive. Without respect, there is no leadership. Without leadership, there is no dominance, only boorishness. To Receive tekirdağ escort bayan Submission, Give Respect and GratitudeEven the cool and aloof have their ways of showing respect and thanks. A femme domme respects the humanity of the submissive even after the most intense objectification scene. She is thankful for the act of submission given, even when it may appear externally as if it were wrenched from the submissive. She knows that, in the end, it is the submissive who actively chooses surrender. She knows how difficult true surrender is and is in awe of that. She knows that it takes the truly strong and self-aware to fully submit and she shows gratitude for that appropriately. She knows that the limits and emotional vulnerabilities of others must be respected. This includes respecting the limits of nonparticipating parties who may prefer not to have to deal with a wantonly splattered dominant attitude. It includes respecting the limits placed by the submissive, for this consideration allows the submissive to feel truly safe with her. Such a sense of safety often leads to deeper surrender. As a dear friend of mine, David V., says: “Always be respectful in spirit, even if the scene is not.Continue reading the full guide at archive [dot] org. (see comments section below for full link).
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