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Jan closed the heavy wooden door and then leaned against it and sighed deeply. What a morning, she thought. First Bob, her husband of over twenty years, lost his briefcase. She’d found it for him and was trying to get breakfast ready, when Eric, her eldest, announced he was quitting his job. This provoked a fight with his father that Jan broke up only by stepping between them. Janie, her middle child, had then come into the kitchen with both hands filled with clothes and wailed that she had nothing to wear. Finally, the twins were fighting over the red toothbrush all the while the pancakes were burning. Thus began another typical morning at the Hobson residence. Bob had left for work having barely eaten after a final threat to his son; he hadn’t even remembered to give Jan a peck on the cheek. Eric had stormed out of the house cursing all adults, despite the fact that she’d interceded for him. Janie had finally left for school in something approaching appropriate dress after Jan had sent her to change no less than three times. Janie hadn’t eaten either, and had accused her mother of being “a hopelessly old fashioned prude”. Meanwhile, the twins made a complete mess in the kitchen by throwing syrup-coated pancake pieces at one another. Jan had barely had them cleaned up and redressed when their bus arrived.
Jan usually loved the mornings, the time when the big house was so peaceful after everyone had left, but this morning she felt depressed. Her birthday was coming up in two weeks and no one had yet said a word. She caught her reflection in the hall mirror and took a moment to study herself. She was average in most every way, average height, average weight, brown hair and brown eyes. Her bust was quite big for her frame and in her younger days had been a source of pride. But time, gravity, and four children had not been kind. Similarly, her hips were wide and her legs just a little too full, and her waist still carried some of the extra inches from her last pregnancy, inches she hadn’t been able to lose in nine years. As she stood there in her flannel dressing gown, her reflection in the mirror seemed to smirk back at her: “suburban housewife”. And unappreciated, she thought. They don’t appreciate you. With a sigh of resignation, she trudged into the kitchen and began to clean up the morning mess.
Jan had been married twenty years to the same man. She and Bob had lived in the same house for eighteen of those years, and overall she thought they’d been very happy. The first two years had been the roughest, and in many ways the best years of her marriage. Jan had worked to put Bob through his last year at Columbia. They’d lived in a rent-controlled studio in New York City, they’d been very much in love, and sex had been frequent and satisfying. Eric had been born in the city and Janie had been conceived there. After Bob graduated, and while Jan was still pregnant with the twins, they moved to suburbia.
After the twins were born, it took a while for Jan to lose the extra pounds she’d gained during her pregnancy. Meanwhile, Bob’s interest in sex dropped dramatically, and with it his romantic inclinations. Sex had become routine for them years ago — Friday nights almost on schedule — but these days she and Bob seemed to be out of the habit altogether. He still loved her, she was sure, but he showed it less and less frequently, and with less and less enthusiasm even when he found the time to be affectionate. Not good, she thought, it’s not good at all. She was nearing forty and had never wanted sex more. Over two months had passed since the last time and she hungered for it. But Bob was stressed at work and fighting with Eric and the list of excuses was endless. I’m hurting, she thought. Bob’s lack of interest was hurting her self-esteem.
Now Jan chuckled as she realized she’d been standing in front of the empty sink for several minutes, wiping the same plate dry again and again as she pondered her life. She thought of moving to the bedroom to find a novel and her vibrator. “Big Blue”, as she affectionately called her toy, had become her best friend, her masturbation interludes with the vibrator almost an obsession. The vibrator, at least, was always there for her. Never completely satisfactory, but at least she had orgasms. She couldn’t imagine living without orgasms. She was currently exploring something new in the novels she read: many of the novels she now read had bisexual or even lesbian themes, novels written by women about women. Women authors seemed to more easily know what would turn on other women. During the past year, as Jan’s dissatisfaction with her sex-life had increased, she’d also become aware that many of her erotic fantasies centered on women. Only fantasies, of course. She couldn’t imagine herself in bed with a woman. Or at least she couldn’t imagine herself in bed with a woman and be comfortable with it. No, that wasn’t right either. She could imagine herself with a woman, even imagine the sex, but she couldn’t imagine herself searching for something like that. Suburban casino oyna housewife, she thought. Conventional suburban housewife surrounded by barbed wire. The image made her feel depressed again.
She put the plate away and was turning to go upstairs, when a big green Suburban followed by a sleek red Corvette pulled into the driveway of the empty house next door. Jan immediately recognized the Suburban was Shelly’s.
Shelly Richardson was one of her circle of friends. Shelly’s husband was a successful attorney, and Shelly had become a real estate agent more out of boredom than any need for money. Jan liked Shel well enough when she was acting normal, but when Shelly was in her “saleswoman” mode, she was almost unbearably outgoing. Jan watched the Corvette with mounting curiosity, wondering what sort of new neighbors she might be getting.
A tall blonde woman emerged from the sports car and approached Shelly. The blonde wore a red business suit with a short skirt and blazer, black hose and heels. Her features were aquiline, her body seeming sleek and predatory. The blonde was lithe and trim, with small high breasts and slim boyish hips and well-toned long shapely legs. She had a commanding air about her, and even at such a distance, Jan pegged her as a professional of some type, maybe a friend of Shelly’s husband, Pete. Jan had always admired attractive people, especially pretty women. She found herself staring at the stranger. When the woman looked up and across the side yard, their eyes met and a thrill of excitement passed through Jan. She looked down immediately, pretending to be washing dishes. When she looked back up a moment later, the two women were gone. She tried to convince herself that she had just been embarrassed about being caught staring, but deep down she realized that the thrill she’d felt looking at and making eye contact with that woman had been sexual and elemental.
Jan continued with her morning routine, and by the time she finished straightening up the twins’ room it was nearly noon and she’d forgotten the incident. She was heading downstairs to the kitchen, when suddenly the doorbell rang. Who’s that? she thought as she walked to the front door. When she opened the door, she found Shelly and the blonde woman standing under the portico.
Shelly smiled. “Jan, darling, it’s so nice to see you.” She stepped forward to hug Jan.
Jan could tell Shelly was in her saleswoman mode and she gritted her teeth and forced a smile. “Hi, Shel.”
Shelly gestured towards the blonde. “Darling, this is Lynette Walker. She’s thinking of buying the Peterson house.”
Jan looked at the tall woman. The woman’s eyes were a piercing blue, and as her eyes fixed on Jan, Jan’s breath caught in her throat and she felt a spark of excitement shoot through her.
“My friends call me, Lynn,” the woman said in a voice deep and raspy. A sexy bedroom voice, a voice that seemed to drip with innuendo.
“Pleased to meet you,” Jan managed. She fought to break the stare and not be rude, but Lynn’s eyes held hers, held her helpless as a bird caught in the hypnotic trap of a snake’s eyes.
Now Shelly seemed oblivious to the sparks between the two women: “Jan, would you be a dear and talk to Lynn a few minutes about the neighborhood? I just got a beep on my cell and Charley’s in trouble at school again.”
Jan nodded and looked at Lynn. “Of course, won’t you please come in?” She tried to keep the tremor from her voice. Her feelings were running wild, and she felt disoriented by their intensity and by the realization of their cause.
The two women entered the house and Jan ushered them into the living room. Lynn sat on the sofa and Shelly turned the wingback chair away from them and placed a call on her cell phone. Jan had to sit on the sofa with Lynn. She felt hot and nervous as she tried to avoid making eye contact with the blonde.
In a hesitant voice, Jan said: “It’s a nice neighborhood, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy living here.”
“I’m sure I will if all my neighbors are as attractive as you are,” Lynn said softly, keeping her voice low enough so that only Jan could hear.
A long time had passed since Jan had received a compliment like that, and she suddenly wished she were wearing something more attractive than her old jeans and sweat top. But why was she suddenly so interested in what this woman thought of her?
“Thank you,” Jan said to Lynn.
“How much traffic do you get on this street?”
“Very little. Our children play outside all the time and we never worry about them.”
Lynn smiled. “I don’t have any children, but I do jog.”
“Oh. Well, it’s usually very quiet.”
Their conversation ended abruptly when Shelly raised her voice into her cell phone. Then Shelly angrily switched the phone off and Jan could tell she was trying to compose herself before she faced them again. When Shelly finally turned to them, she had a large phony smile on her face.
“I’m so sorry, Lynn, but my son’s canlı casino been in a fight and they’re demanding I come to get him. I’ll need only about thirty minutes. Could you possibly wait for me to get back?”
Shelly looked at Jan. “Jan, darling, I hate to impose, but would you mind answering Lynn’s questions for me, if she has any questions about the neighborhood?”
“No problem,” Jan said.
“All right, I’m leaving. I’ll back as soon as I can.” Shelly rose and walked quickly to the door. In a moment the door closed behind her with a thud that shook the house.
Lynn chuckled. “And that’s one of the reasons I don’t have kids.”
Jan looked up, and as their eyes locked again she felt her cheeks burning. “One of the reasons? Are there others?”
Lynn smiled and shifted closer to her on the sofa.
“Several,” Lynn said.
Jan was unable to break eye contact, the woman’s nearness making her light-headed. She felt excited and nervous, as though she were on a first date.
“I have my job,” Lynn continued, explaining further why she had no children. “I don’t have time for a family,”
Jan nodded. “That’s understandable,”
“Another reason is that I’m single and not interested in getting married.”
Lynn smiled and casually patted Jan’s knee. “Since we may be neighbors, I suppose you should know something about me. I’m gay.” Her eyes fixed on Jan’s face. “Will that be a problem for you? Will it bother you that I’m a lesbian?”
Jan was shocked. Not so much by the words, but by the risingexcitement she felt. Lynn’s hand now rested on her knee and seemed as hot as Jan imagined a branding iron would be. A shiver passed through her body. She tried to speak, but she found her mouth suddenly dry. She licked her lips and felt desperate, confused by her excitement.
“I’ve upset you,” Lynn said.
“No, not at all.”
“Yes, I have, I can tell.” She removed her hand and drew back. “It does bother you that I’m gay.”
“No, it doesn’t. Really it doesn’t. I think it’ll be good for the neighborhood.”
Lynn seemed amused. “Really? How’s that?”
Jan hesitated. “I don’t know… diversity, I guess.”
Lynn laughed. “Most people don’t like that kind of diversity. Anyway, you’re sweet. You remind me of someone I was once very close to.”
Jan felt herself blushing. She smiled. “Oh?”
“You have her eyes and hair, and the body is the same.”
“Not much to look at anymore.”
“I wouldn’t say that. I think you’re lovely.”
Jan laughed. “Are you making a pass at me?”
“Not really. I shouldn’t do that, should I? Would it bother you?”
“I don’t know…”
“You’re not gay, are you? You’re making my radar go off.”
Lynn smiled. “Gaydar, it’s called. The sense that maybe you’re gay.”
“No, I’m not. I have a husband and four children.”
Lynn’s hand squeezed Jan’s knee. “All right, I won’t push it. I don’t usually make passes at married women, but something tells me you’ve been seriously thinking about it.”
“I’ve been thinking about it… sometimes… but I don’t think I’m ready for anything.”
“You need to experiment.”
Jan laughed. “Just like that?”
“I don’t mean jump into bed with someone. Think about it more. Try kissing someone and see what happens. Suppose I kiss you? Would that be so awful?”
“I don’t know…”
Lynn leaned forward slowly and pressed her lips to Jan’s. The blonde’s lips were soft but demanding, and Jan’s lips parted without Jan thinking about it. Lynn’s tongue darted into Jan’s mouth and Jan felt herself melting into an embrace with the blonde woman. A powerful need now rose in Jan, and she felt helpless to fight it. Lynn’s tongue slipped across her own and Jan’s tongue responded. Soon their tongues were battling in the most passionate kiss Jan had ever experienced. The kiss seemed to go on forever. Jan held tightly to Lynn as the blonde wrapped her in her strong arms.
When the kiss broke, Jan was breathless. Lynn sat back and smiled. “I hope that was an invitation,” she said, her voice raspy.
“An invitation?” Jan felt the flush in her face. She felt a shiver run through her body. A strange taste was on her lips, and she licked at her lips absently. She tried to remember when a kiss had affected her so strongly, but she could not. She was very aware of her nipples, which she could feel straining against the cups of her bra, and when she shifted and moved her thighs together, she realized she was wet.
Lynn said: “You liked it, didn’t you?”
“So my radar is working after all?”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
Lynn smiled and reached out to stroke one of Jan’s breasts. Her questing fingers quickly found the hardened nipple and gently squeezed it. Jan gasped and arched her back, forcing more of her breast into Lynn’s hand.
“I think this excites you,” Lynn said softly.
The blonde now kaçak casino took both of Jan’s large breasts in her hands and began to gently knead them. Jan thought of protesting, but the woman’s hands felt too good, she couldn’t remember the last time anyone had treated them so carefully. Lynn paid attention to her nipples, but not to the exclusion of the rest of her breasts, and she was not rough with them, as Bob usually was. Bob treated her tits like punching bags, roughly grabbing and squeezing them, when he paid attention to them at all. Lynn treated them like fine china, her caresses soft and exciting.
While Jan made this mental comparison, Lynn’s free hand pulled at the faded material of Jan’s sweatshirt, pulled the shirt up until she had it bunched above Jan’s breasts. “Your breasts turn me on,” Lynn said in a low voice. “Lovely big tits. They don’t get the proper attention, do they?”
Jan quivered. Only the thin material of her bra separated those wonderful hands from her flushed skin. She did not know what to think, or what to say, and she was groping for words when she heard Shelly’s Suburban pull up in the driveway. The intrepid saleswoman had made the trip to the school and had now returned. Jan hurried to pull her sweatshirt down.
“Not yet,” Lynn whispered.
Lynn ignored her protest. She sat back and held Jan’s breasts up, cupping them while forcing them higher. She looked into Jan’s eyes and sensuously licked her lips. The message was clear, and Jan could almost feel that pink tongue on her nipples. The sound of the front door opening startled her out of the hold Lynn had on her, and she frantically tugged her shirt down as the blonde quickly scooted back to where she’d been sitting.
“I’m sorry I’m so late,” Shelly called out as she walked in. “I hope Jan’s answered your questions, Lynn.”
“Yes, I think she has,” Lynn said with a warm smile.
Jan blushed bright red and tried to appear normal. She feared her nipples would show even through the heavy old sweatshirt.
“Good,” Shelly said. “I’m sure you two will become good friends.” She seemed totally unaware of the sexual tension in the room.
“You can bet on it,” Lynn said as she rose.
Jan was certain her face was scarlet as she walked them to the door. Shelly was in her saleswoman mode again, totally focused on Lynn as a home buyer, and Jan was happy when she could finally close the door.
For the second time that day, Jan leaned against the heavy door and sighed. Dear God, where is this going? she thought. She placed her hands on her breasts and slowly stroked them through her sweatshirt.
Jan mastered her emotions and finished cleaning the house. It was only later, in the quiet safety of her room, that she let her mind return to what had happened. She could remember every detail, and as she recalled the scene, she felt herself becoming aroused as she hadn’t been in years. So that’s what another woman’s touch is like, she thought. For a fleeting moment, she regretted her lack of experience, but she pushed the thought from her mind. She was a married mom nearing forty, and the time for experimenting was long past for her. Or was it?
She could not put the memory out of her mind. She was so aroused, she knew she would need to get her toy out before the children returned home. She deliberately chose to reread parts of a novel with a powerful male character, but when she eventually used the vibrator to give herself an intense orgasm, it was the memory of Lynn’s hands on her breasts that brought her to a finish.
Two weeks passed. In her living room, Jan sat alone and stared blankly out the big picture window. A carafe of French wine and two crystal goblets were neglected on the table before her. She’d never felt so alone or unloved.
In the week after Jan had met Lynn, the blonde had moved in and apparently established her routine. She worked unusual hours, and whenever she was home, she was either sunning by her pool or jogging. Jan hadn’t spoken to the woman since that first time. On the evening of that day when Lynn had kissed her and caressed her, Jan had practically attacked her husband the moment he walked in the door. She pursued him all evening. Lynn’s kisses had left her dying for sex, but when it finally happened, Bob was as unenthusiastic as always and he fell asleep immediately afterwards. Jan had retreated to the bathroom and masturbated, realizing that the brief interlude with Lynn earlier that day had been more pleasurable and exciting than the entire act with her husband. When she finally orgasmed in the bathroom, her mind was on her exciting new neighbor. As her birthday approached, Jan realized again that no one apparently remembered or cared. Since no one else would do it, she laid her plans carefully for her own party. Eric was out of state at a concert, the twins were away on a Boy Scout camp-out upstate, and Janie was staying over the weekend at Sara’s house.
Jan bought new lingerie, put on her best dress, cooked Bob’s favorite meal, and waited to surprise him. He came home early and asked her to pack him a bag, not even noticing her dress or hair or the wine bottle and two glasses.
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